I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
