Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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