you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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