I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
