a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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