I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
