I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
