well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
