I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
