:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
