yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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