Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
