Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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