marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
