I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just want nice things and good sex
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
