He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
