I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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