Duck Duck Cougar?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Randomize
