dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
