After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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