He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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