there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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