i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i think my cat just said my name.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
