she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
