I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
