I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
