Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize