Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize