If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We don't watch enough power rangers
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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