so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
