The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
