I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
