He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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