you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
