i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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