Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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