Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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