Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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