I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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