Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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