when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
