I cockslap morals
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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