Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
