But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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