Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
