this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize