Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he was CRYING into my vagina
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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