Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
