If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
