and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
