he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
