the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
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He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
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Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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