respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
