the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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