My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
