Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
