I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
