would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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