You're completely useless in the revolution.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
