I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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