she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my shit smells like andre
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
