is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
