Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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