when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
